Patent on Reading Blogs Pending…Prepared to be sued

trollUp until recently I thought I had to resort to the lottery or white collar crime to fund my beach house.

However, soon after hearing a story on NPR about software patent trolling, I decided to finally apply for that patent on the blog reading technique that I’ve worked so hard on inventing (patent # c7c0f810-e5b8-4b64-9cfc-e7a93cc1d9cf).

Needless to say, my invention is extremely complicated. It involves the internets, procrastinating at work, and anonymously leaving lots of rude, off-topic comments on blogs.

My lawyer, Guido, will explain it to all of you in more detail while you cut me a big fat check (I captured your IP Address when you loaded this page).

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to go after most of the software giants, who spend billions to purchase random software patents for no other reasons than to defend themselves through the threat of the counter-suit.

On the other hand, if something happens to my beach house and I can’t manage to think of any more incredibly obvious ideas on my own, I could always follow the lead of Oasis Research, who purchased a broad patent from 1998, formed a company with no operations, no products, no employees, and started suing the hell out of people.

Since defending against a patent infringement suit cost millions of dollars and most companies are willing to settle even non-meritorious suits they consider frivolous for several hundred thousand dollars, it’s a pretty lucrative business model.

Then again, if I get really ambitious, I could always follow the lead of Intellectual Ventures. They managed to raise 5 billion in venture capital, purchase 35,000 patents, and then charge protection money…oops, I mean fees… to their clients so that their butcher shops wouldn’t get burned down…oops I mean so that they wouldn’t get sued.

Welcome to the new world of software innovation.

Now pay up.


  1. how to read music notes December 2, 2013 2:40 am 

    I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well.

  2. hop over this website January 13, 2014 12:13 pm 

    Good – I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, web site theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Excellent task..

  3. sbobet March 18, 2014 1:15 am 

    I really appreciate the kind of topics post here. Thanks for sharing us a great information that is actually helpful. Good day!

  4. online gambling March 18, 2014 1:16 am 

    This is a very good post. Just wonderful. Truly, I am amazed at what informative things you’ve told us today

  5. arema March 18, 2014 11:02 pm 

    I’m completely enjoying as of it and that I have you ever bookmarked to ascertain out new stuff you’ll post.. Can you also check

  6. hentai March 18, 2014 11:02 pm 

    Excellent post, I agree with you 100%! I’m always scouring the Internet for new information and learning whatever I can, and in doing so I sometimes leave comments on blogs. I don’t do it for SEO purposes necessarily, but to learn new things.

  7. easy 1 year old meals July 11, 2014 4:00 am 

    This post is helpful with an analysis I am doing for a specific group of people. Do you have any other articles to suggest on this topic? Thanks

  8. dominoqq October 25, 2014 12:46 am 

    nice posting…thanks u for share this

  9. live score October 25, 2014 12:48 am 

    thank you

  10. courtney jones atlanta May 22, 2015 2:42 pm 

    View this site and purchase necessary essays for college from the reputable agency. It is positive that first grade student will have expert essay writing services.

  11. obat penggugur kandungan January 21, 2016 9:29 pm 

    This article is very good and useful for readers. thank you for sharing knowledge

  12. jual obat aborsi February 2, 2016 4:19 am 

    thanks for posting and sharing information through this very useful

Leave a Reply